Opposition

"You can never know the good if you've never known the bad,
You can never be happy if you've never been sad...."

At 7:10 tonight, I pulled into the Kidney Center in SeaTac area. I wasn't looking for a kidney. I needed a new heart. Mine had gotten way too tight in my chest and was threatening to break. The Kidney Center just happened to be the closest parking lot. Driving was all the sudden impossible as tears flooded my eyes and my throat was so choked I couldn't respond when Larry said he thought we were going the wrong way.

At 7:oo, I hugged and kissed my beautiful 22 year old son good-bye as I dropped him off at his hotel so he could leave for basic training with the AirForce. He will be gone for 8 weeks of training then enter Tech school for another 5 months. It's not like it's forever, or even a really long time. But it is the official leaving the nest, baby all grown up thing that wreaks havoc on a mother's heart. I am incredibly proud of him and very excited for him also. Still, my heart hurts.

On the other end of the spectrum, my other grown up baby, Renee, found out she is having a baby boy. No questions this time. Definately a boy. My heart rejoices.

So, this weekend, we cheered for Renee, congratulated Garret with a big family party, celebrated my sister Lorri's 40th birthday and tearfully sent Garret off to his new life and adventures....Opposition....

It's a Boy...or a Girl

On a snowy, slushy, yucky day, I left work early to go to Renee's ultrasound appointment. After an hour of checking measurements, spine, heart, bones, etc., in a last minute, seemingly half-hearted effort, the technician checked for gender. "Well, it looks like maybe boy parts, or an umbilical cord in the way, can't really tell." and in the space for gender, placed a question mark. So, there you have it...now we know. It's a boy, or a girl!
We got a couple great profile pictures, a cute little wave of the hand, lots of swimming and an adorable foot with toes shot, but no gender specific information. Renee was so disappointed. So was I. She had a friend tell her about a new pee test that is supposed to be able to tell. Maybe that exists and she can check it out. Assuming there are no complications, this will probably be her one and only ultrasound. Bummer.
It's strange I am still battling with my emotions on this all. If I am talking to a complete stranger it is easy to be excited and all, but whenever I discuss this with someone I know well, I get all mixed up in my emotions. Half excited, half tearful....I never know how to react, and am often surprised by the emotions that seem to take over. At home we joke and laugh about it. The ole "humor" in place of uncomfortable emotions we don't know how to deal with. Sound familiar? Renee seems to be doing better than me I think. But I know she definately has a baby in there, and that means I am definately going to be a grandma in about 4 months. I guess I am just still pretty overwhelmed by it all. My baby girl Renee is having a baby and I am just not quite ready for that. Motherhood intensified and magnified?

Explanation

The following conversation just struck me as hillarious as this is typical of strange and bizzare conversations we have around here from time to time. No one is our family is racist and we all have many good friends of many ethnic origins. I am sure Kendall was considering the reputation of excellent athletes that are African Americans, and it was just one of those goofy things that came out of nowhere. We have often teased Chloe for her preference for thinking Hispanic guys are so hot, and it is no secret I think African American babies are incredibly beautiful. Dustin over the last few years has had Asian girlfriends, so I'd say we are pretty well-rounded.

Conversation Overheard at the Cline/Larson House

Kendall: (while playing Wii Sports with his African-American Wii Me "Jamal") I'm going to have a big black boy when I have kids. (NOTE: Kendall is very athletic)

Mom: (lLaughing) Well then you'll have to marry a big black girl.

Kendall: No, I that's not what I meant.

Mom: Well then you will have to be okay with your wife occassionally seeing the mailman.
(NOTE: we once had a black mailman and it was a joke because Mom always said she wanted a black baby)

Chloe: (With a super Chloe giggle) Well I am going to marry a Hispanic guy cause they are soooo hot!

Larry: (With thick sarcasm) We will have no interracial marriages in this family! (NOTE: his mother is African American)

Kendall: Well maybe a girl that is half-black then.

Renee: Well I am marrying someone who is Native American or European only. Actually maybe just European like German or Scandanavian because blondes are becoming extinct and I need to preserve the blonde genes. (NOTE: Renee is currently very natural blonde and 5 months pregnant with a baby whose father has Native American heritage...bye-bye blonde!)

Renee: (continuing) And besides, before you know it America will be all the same color and all be brown-haired.

Mom: Renee, you're such a Nazi!